Body Image and My Relationship with Photos

As a 90s kid, I can tell you that growing up was like living through the wild west of diet culture. It pains me to see it returning in full force. Living through the “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” era definitely left some scars. Being a photographer has made me really have to evaluate how I view myself and what my relationship is with my body. Practice what you preach, as it were.

Ran a whole ass Spartan Race.

Hated the photo because I didn’t look like a professional athlete.

From a young age, I picked apart every photo taken of me. Whether it was a slight blemish, a (not-so) double chin, or my arms, thighs or belly looking “fat.” The sad part is that in none of the photos was there actually a problem. Just my body existing and functioning the way it should except that it didn’t quite fit into the beauty standards of the time. What’s more, the voice in my head wasn’t an innate hatred of myself; it was learned through outside criticisms, through consumption of magazines, tv and popular culture. It was “in” to be waif-like. 

That hair is incredible (let’s be honest)

This was during a really bad time of not eating nearly enough.

This started me on a long and exhausting journey of extreme diets, binge eating, and over-exercising. Desperately trying to get to my ideal weight without any real introspection as to why I wanted to or needed to be that weight. And to get there? Well it meant either not eating or weighing every morsel of food that went into my body. And if you know me and my love for food, you know how torturous that was.

This isn’t a bid for sympathy. It’s just to say I understand not wanting to document yourself when you feel like your body isn’t perfect. Now, being a photographer, I can honestly say everyone is beautiful and I don’t mean that in some cheesy, cheerleader way. Objectively, everyone I have come across has that something unique that makes them beautiful. Their own little “it factor,” if you will. My job is to make you realize that. My job is to make you feel comfortable. My history with body image struggles only allows me to better understand and help you get there.

My journey of self-love is just beginning and I absolutely love celebrities like Hilary Duff who strive to be strong and accept themselves where they’re at. That's what I want for me and that’s what I want for you. Our bodies have been made into trends for too long. It’s time for that to end.

My goal now is for everyone who steps in front of my camera to see themselves as I see them… beautiful, unique and deserving. Deserving of beautiful photos at any shape, size or any chapter in their lives. 

-Laura